Sarah is 24-years old blogger from the same universe and time where I am (metaphorically speaking). A strange pull in her words sort of glued me to my desktop screen for at least a couple of hours to her very few but profoundly written blog posts.
A particular blog post of hers (To All Of Us Who Can’t Really Seem To Find Their Purpose) made me think deeply and rarely do someone’s word throw me in any such ocean of thoughts. She was touching upon an age-old (unsolved) question of purpose. And trust me, I have read a lot on this subject but have not written anything on it yet.
She starts off her post by a quote (probably hers);
“There are two unique beauties to life. One is to find love in the Other; the second is to find love within.”
Life is sum of so many things that its almost impossible to list them all. However, the most important aspect (and the unique one as per her words) is love. Whether you find it in yourself or in others, its probably “the” most beautiful thing which no words can describe completely. When you are in love (with yourself or with others), its the most beautiful feeling.
I am of the opinion that love is just there, without any need to find it within or in others. Sarah added this “search” in the most beautiful thing in life i.e. love. She calls this quest (of finding love) as the most beautiful thing in one’s life. She goes on calling the same search (of love) as real purpose of life;
And these are the only two purposes to life really, for if you can not even find either of these two, nothing will matter to you or anyone, not in any way.
Think about it.
For if you can’t find even one of these two, life will be cruel, dark, and you’d wish you were never born.
But don’t imagine it for too long.
If I will continue to agree with everything she said, I’m going to probably bore myself (to whom I love most) 🙂 There are people who have found their love in belonging to a certain identity (gender, nation, color, etc) that they turn into evil for the rest of the world. As you can see, I just spinned her words into making anyone’s life cruel and dark even when they have found love (in themselves or others). You have not even a remote clue how many oceans, worlds, islands and people I had to go through to be able to see the same thing positively and negatively.
Her words were obviously vague but still interesting enough for me to continue reading;
Now, it is obvious that we ask ourselves, where to find these beauties in life then? To which there are many answers. But the true questions are these, what is to find love in the Other? And what is this love we find within?
One of the very few good qualities in a writer is that he/she wants to identify what they are going to talk about. Its definitely not her rant, especially when she’s about to touch on a very important topic i.e. “purpose”.
To find love in the Other means that there is a person, a thing, a living being, a something in this reality here, that gives you the feeling of being loved and appreciated. If you have doubts about this feeling, it is no love. Keep looking for it. Look for it in the flowers blooming during the early morning, or look for it in the friend that keeps returning your calls even when you’ve been hard to reach. Look for the love that was unasked for, the surprising hug, or soothing talk in the middle of the night. Look for it in the movement of the people, the love we share for animals and trees, the sun, oceans, and seas. You must know, to most people, this is their parents for starters. These people have found their love in parental others that they can trust, rely on, both physically and emotionally. The love of a parent is the most important type of love there is, especially later on in life, it influences the particular individual immensely and their capacity in finding the second purpose of life,
She said something here to which my own heart is a witness. When a woman I loved, cheated on me, I drove around the whole USA, from East Coast to West Coast, through snow storms, mountains, oceans, lakes and random people/things (i.e. trees, flowers). I was touching everything and sort of making myself aware of their existence after this lady (out of her own mental health issues) did whatever she did.
Sarah insists upon the love of parent. I don’t agree with her in that. Because if your parents are self-destructive individuals, your loving them will result in you becoming their mirror someday. Now, if your brain jumped to the conclusion that I said that because my own parents might be those messed up people, then you just need to splash cold water on your tense face.
To find love within.
Secondly, to find love within is a whole lot more complicated. This means, that even when everyone should have perished, you are able to find the strength within you to keep going. Even when everything and everyone has decided against you, you’ll have the energy to fight it. And this energy stems from you, like a burning fire and it never goes out. You need to be able to find it, somewhere deep down at the bottom of your heart or in the shallow waters of your distant memories. Something that keeps you upright and going, something as unmoving as a mountain, but fluent as water, like a dream that could still be a reality, no matter what the circumstances, like a past memory, irreversible and no one can take that away from you. And I can promise you, as long as you are on the way, you’ll find a way; the love within will be there to guide you. Learn to listen. Listen and express, accept and face your love. It will be fierce. Fiercer than anything in your life before.
Finding love within is far easier than how she described it as complicated. For this, you don’t have to wait on someone else to show up, (or their mood swings) to talk about feelings. She equates finding love within ourselves as some strength when love has made many people weak, frail and unable to be themselves in front of their loved ones.
She touches upon a strange idea of everything and everyone turning against you. That is not real and I have found majority of the world actually on your side, provided you stand for the right reasons. She calls this energy (stemming from loving ourselves) as some fire. Especially in the context where she described people turning against you, returning fire with fire is in my humble opinion, not wise or fruitful in the long run.
Sarah is probably trying to ignite an inner fire for someone who is dead inside (someone depressed) and she’s asking such lost individuals to find it in their own past, memories or events/people that uplifted them. She calls this inner love as fierce and that scares the hell out of me. In other words, if I find my passion (as a result of some search within), it would look like burning in fire with some devil face in the mirror.
She pretty much said something that I have read elsewhere at many places, but her unique way of reaching the conclusions was interesting enough for a read.
To ask for a purpose, I don’t turn to any human. I simply enjoy a bird’s song in a beautiful afternoon or a beetle’s sound in a starry night at some lake. Their purpose is their beautiful existence during the time and space where I exist too.
Sarah did, however, entertain me with her idea of purpose.