[I was thinking of a suitable gift of Halloween for everyone and this idea came to my mind i.e. to write something that could save people’s lives, precious emotions and promote healthy relationships. I don’t like fear-mongering myself but it is probably the lesson of Halloween to make any fear look like a play thingy hence lessen its impact on our real lives.]
I have had close relationships (one-way of course) with people suffering from dissociative or schizotypal personality disorder. Their odd behaviors about life and relationships triggered me to look through psychological definitions of the same.
Unfortunately, I used to be ignorant towards a dark reality i.e. people with mental issues are not just found in a mental health facility, but also they roam around us like normal people. I used to believe that any of their strange, and at times frustrating behavior can be tamed via my loving nature.
How wrong was I…
Today I am 49 and I still thank God for finding that out in my middle age, if not during my youth. Close interactions which they’d (not I) like to call relationships must have left some damage on my own personality which I could have totally avoided had I been prepared by my parents or the teachers about their existence all around us.
Here are some of my own findings about them from such close proximity:
They will appear normal but very secretive about their anti-depressants use which is obviously stupid since those tablets come in tiny bottles which is difficult, if not impossible to hide from your own life partner.
2. Sex Life
Their sex life is totally non-existent and they’d never appear forthcoming as they seem to have lost libido (if there was any to begin with). However, their promiscuity will take many forms and shapes i.e. cheating, polyamory (one body many sex partners), etc.
No amount of loving them will make them happy. You may bring the whole world to their feet and still they will find so many issues and things wrong with them. Wearing negative glasses and a dark view of the world is how they operate. And kid me not, they’d come off as the most positive and the most humble individuals you’d ever meet. Until, of course you start a relationship.
4. Reverse Psychology
They will always want to get out of the relationship using it as a blackmail tool to keep you on your toes. Its like they’d be playing reverse psychology games in love which they master with the passage of time (and partners).
Falsely accusing you of something they themselves suffer is their way of life. Psychological projection is a defense mechanism they subconsciously employ in order to cope with difficult feelings or emotions. It involves projecting undesirable feelings or emotions onto you, rather than admitting to or dealing with the unwanted feelings.
They will justify their physical violence with hear-say evidence, again another form of alternate reality that their brain told them to believe. And when you’d return their violence with another, of course they’d run to cops screaming lies and making up stories to have their 15 minutes of fame.
I can actually go on and on, but since I have never intended to make money out of this, hence don’t expect me to write a book about it. Or come off as a victim to get into your pants.
I totally believe that such personality disorders should be taught in schools (if not junior, at least in high school). This awareness will help people like myself to save from many heartaches, time and money (of course).
For more on the same subject (alternate reality), you can read;