All hope is never lost since I’m a positive person who has never believed in any human being as a born evil. We become what our environment and interactions teach us. All of that can be unlearned and one can not only continue to learn and grow, but rather form ever-lasting relationships too.
Since my first breakup with my first woman (who cheated on me) back in 2008, I have been going to the same bench and the lake where we kissed first time.
Women came and went out of my life but I never stopped going to that lake and the bench. I never called my Ex of 2008, but I do always enjoy the wind, the silence and the feeling in the air that universe has left behind after our first kiss.
After the relationship is over and enough breathing space has been given to each other to recalibrate themselves for a happy and a new life without each other, ego should never come between two lovers who are genuinely in love. Always remember, true love is bold and caring too since it does not necessarily need that love being physical right beside them, even though if that can happen, nothing better than that. This ego should never stop them from taking the lead and writing their love a small note like this;
“Even though I am still sad at us going apart but I have successfully gotten over “us” to lead a normal and a happy life all by myself. I have tried to talk to other women and we have had wonderful sex and interactions. However, nothing comes even close to how our spark and passion was. Not for a second I have stopped loving you. They all came and went. Recently, I broke up with another and gotten over her too before becoming ready for dating again.
But before I start dating anyone else, I just wanted to see if you are still single and available. Even if you are available, do you feel the same way about “us” like I do? I have so many questions to ask, so many things to tell you as I feel for the rest of my life, I want to always talk to you just like how that old guy reads his life’s diary over and over to his dying wife when she had lost memory in the 2004 movie “The Notebook“. Do you feel like kissing me passionately like how we did first time?
I think I have given myself enough space to achieve that task which felt like impossible when we went apart first time. Please do consider me and the happy moments of “us” that we lived together, minus those sad ones that both of us learned about each other and will definitely do far better and different this time being wiser. I want to be 100% hopeful but leaving a space of that 1% possibility of you saying no. I love you so much (insert her name here). I always did, I still do and that loving you will never stop in any case.”
You can also leave a voicemail too saying something similar. This may look like a canned response by a writer but I assure you that this is coming from the heart and soul of someone who is totally in love with someone who was (and hopefully still is) totally in love with me too. And I know what love is like Forrest Gump says in this movie scene;
And before you start getting all that hopeful and happily ready to hear her saying “YESSSS”, hold your breath. There could be a million reasons you’d hear her politely say no i.e.
She is taken. She is already in a relationship and she’s perfectly alright. Instead of messing her life like how I described her Ex did in my case, please stay the fuck away from her. Find someone else out there who may not be exactly like her but probably uniquely beautiful and attractive in her her own way. Who knows! But please please please, leave them both alone, I beg you!
She has chosen to be single for the rest of her life after failing at multiple relationships. And can’t find enough energy or any strength in her soul to make room for anything or anyone out there except to live this life peacefully, happily and to its fullest without needing anybody. If she wants to become friends again, you can choose to become her friend. However, for myself, I can never be a friend of a woman without having sex. If you can keep your sexual desires away from each other (I have no fucking clue how a normal and a sexually healthy man or woman can), then all power to you both. Sex will try to complicate your friendship but if you guys truly love each other, I’m sure you will both ultimately get married to happily live ever after as in those Romeo Juliet type chick flicks.
She is single and available, but not for you. Sorry. There is nothing wrong in being rejected since in dating phase, until you are ready to be rejected, you can’t find someone truly in love with you who’d never reject you. Like Beyonce singing these lyrics in this “Halo” song video “I am never gonna shut you out“.
Just never stop believing in true love out there. She is waiting for you to climb over all these cute souls who you were not meant to be with in the first place. True love never dies like it did in their case. Its light keeps our hearts and souls alight no matter how much darkness tries to make us afraid of all of these lovely souls around us.
Give yourself another chance, with your Ex or Y, or Zee 🙂