Recently, I had a virtual interaction with a beautiful blogger who was in the middle of doing soul searching because someone else had identified some of her shortcomings.
Here’s how the conversation went between us;
That is so awesome Amir!! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with me and I am so grateful to have you follow and weigh in on my soul searching journey! It stings sometimes when I realize my own shortcomings, but it must happen in order for me to move forward and find my peaceful place of existence in this world.A blogger
You already have that peaceful and lovely existence whose positive lovely vibes are reaching far places like the eyes and hearts of many readers like myself. Our strengths and shortcomings make us unique and even though its always good to learn and grow, but as a life partner we should accept everything in our soulmate as a package.Myself
Today, I can fall in love with a sex worker (porn star) and the whole world will start judging me. I am happy with her, totally accepting her professional “obligations” since I might very well be someone who had gotten tired of hundreds of women cheating on him and decided to choose someone who, no matter who she is with, does not count cheating since it is her job.
I have accepted her as a “package” where she is saying and doing all things that a “normal” husband or a boyfriend will object to. But my experiences, interactions and the environment has made me an “abnormal” man. What is normal to you, can very well be abnormal to me. And vice versa.
When one comes to me and tries to identify any shortcoming in me (rudely), I identify a minimum hundred in them so that they can continue doing all sorts of soul searching out there. It is not their sincerity that I am doubting, it is their rude way in which they are trying to define me. For example, if I like sleeping a lot (which I actually love doing), it would be totally rude to wake me up for any of her appointments, no matter how critical it is to her. However, if she does the same beautifully, kissing me slowly, whispering “I love you” in my ears, nibbling me softly, etc. Then I am all “in” to get up and go to her appointment.
Did you notice the difference? That’s called interacting respectfully with a total stranger and never taking him or her for granted just because he/she has married you or has had sex with you as a boyfriend/girlfriend. We are not related to each other in any form or shape. The only connection we have is mutual respect where we accept the other as a whole, without wanting them to change to suite our needs.
There’s already too little time in this temporary life on planet Earth to live and love fully. Let’s not waste it in doing any sort of soul-searching just because we did not fit any particular individual’s set of beliefs, hopes or “norms”. Next time, whenever anyone identifies any shortcoming in you (rudely), simply dump his/her ass and find another one out of billions out there who accepts you in your current form and shape, including your true colors (always wear them proudly) that may take some time (as is usual) to show.
All of that precious lifetime wasted in getting over and moving on is better suited for kissing and making love to a totally different and a unique individual out there, instead of tending to anything your blind, deaf and a totally selfish Ex said. There are many more bad names for anyone’s Ex that come to my mind, but I hope you get the gist. Even calling them names is a sheer waste of time and energy.
This world is full of fools as someone said wonderfully “Everybody is somebody’s fool“. Instead of someone trying to fool you into believing that you are not beautiful the way you are, how about you don’t waste a single moment of even acknowledging what they said, and move on with another totally new, yet accommodating individual.