Translated from Romanian to English via Google hence don’t blame any of my Romanian language skills since I got none;
Each day of my life is like a restart gave my thoughts. It’s like I’m made up of thousands and thousands of thoughts, which hurt my soul so much… anxiety appears, question marks appear before I finish my sentences… agitation, panic overwhelms me…
Even in the mornings they are no longer as they were… neither does the coffee taste the same… as if the problems put too many teaspoons of bitter in it… I get tired, but I wouldn’t want to give up either…
Why? How? When? Where from? What I do? How do I do it? Until? etc.… Too many questions that disturb the mental and physical state… they all sit like stones, one on top of the other, and it seems impossible to tear them down in any way… the soul screams, screams and waits for a hand to be extended… to go out after those stones so heavy, so oppressive. I stop, I don’t break against them, I breathe thoughts and I hope I can start again with my soul torn in my left hand and with thousands of hopes in my right hand. I have to release a hand… my soul must be freed from dark thoughts… And I keep thinking again how to do it esc I receive advice from left and right, I am aware of them, but how to start on the road ?! I say READY, here I say STOP, someone needs to change and that’s me.
Here and now I have to do everything for myself. I have only one bullet on the pipe and I will not miss the target… What target ?! Anxiety, stress, worries that do not give me peace… I agree to destroy these “wonders” with great pleasure.
It is time to love those who love me and not make them suffer… they have the right to have them in mind and soul, not worries and problems. And maybe now I put the others in my favor again, because this is still my soul and his remains… I will live my life simply and naturally.
Loredana Milu
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