Life Goes On


There are couple of thoughts that I want to get off my chest before I start rambling as usual; She will comeClose to youBy saying"You are so beautiful"Only to show youHow ugly you are! And another thought; Before breaking upWith meShe must have hadTo break upWith herselfFirst The first one talks about two strangers who … Continue reading Life Goes On

My Words Gave Birth To This Deep Reflection By Eleonora Zizzi


Eleonora Zizzi is an insightful and a very interesting blogger (https://storytellerseyewords.com/) from Italy who recently found my blog. Upon seeing two of my poems at "In The Middle Of A Funeral" and "She Fears Every Positive Word", Eleonora commented with these awesome-beyond-words; Sometimes love can be ruthless and cruel, so much so that you love … Continue reading My Words Gave Birth To This Deep Reflection By Eleonora Zizzi

Cosmology Of Love


Whenever I interact with anyone, I am mostly focused on what came out of me vis-a-vis how I impacted the other. While talking to someone about sadness between a couple, here are a few words that came to my mind; The reason there are trillions of stars out there is that this universe does not … Continue reading Cosmology Of Love

Intimate Enemy


Remember the 1991 movie "Sleeping With The Enemy"?   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcQqsrf2gik If not, never mind bothering yourself watching anything since I am going to talk something strange about how human brain operates when in a relationship. Being obsessed with someone and actually in love with someone is obviously two different things and there are women who'd … Continue reading Intimate Enemy

Expectations, Part I


In my quest to become independent through my teenage years, “expectations” from others was the first thing on my agenda to get rid of. Today, people surprise me with their best otherwise I’m ready for their worst that I can think of. My defensive driving without a single accident in 3 continents is a proof of that. The only thing which my brain still gets back to work (as in confused or scratching my head), when you kiss and make love to someone and she turns out be nothing but fake love. Thank goodness it has never stopped me from going closer to people. But this man-woman thingy is definitely quite confusing thing from “expectations” point of view, imho.

No Half Measures

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about expectations and particularly the expectations that have been unfulfilled in my life since I’ve been dealing with Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC). For me, I often don’t realize in the moment that something happens that an expectation has been unfulfilled, it’s usually once I have time to process what has happened that it occurs to me. Sometimes this happens in conversation with others, sometimes just when I’m ruminating over a situation or conversation or event. It’s …. complicated.

Let’s start with the dictionary definition:

1: the act or state of expecting: ANTICIPATION in expectation of what would happen

2a: something expected not up to expectations; expectations for an economic recovery; b: basis for expecting : ASSURANCE they have every expectation of success; c: prospects of inheritance —usually used in plural.

3: the state of being expected

4:

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Drug And Alcohol Abuse – Mental Health


I was going through a late singer Amy Winehouse's life and my own life's experience with 20-something women who had mental health issues while being on drugs and excessive use of alcohol. Since then, I have explored lives of many other talented artists who suffer from the same self-destructive behavior. Money and relationship issues apart, … Continue reading Drug And Alcohol Abuse – Mental Health

A Few Of Her Last Words To Me


It started so beautifully, and ended equally horribly. You will find another love, trust me. But you will miss me as you missed our chance. Pls. let me be. I want to find another man and make him happy. Note: Some of the strange things we say to ourselves, totally different from the actual circumstances … Continue reading A Few Of Her Last Words To Me

My One Sided Marriage


There are two types of marriages. One is a must i.e. being married to your own self. The other is optional i.e. being married to someone else. As long I am married to myself happily and ever-after, everything I do is perfectly alright. That includes and excludes marriages, divorces, friendships, relationships, etc.

If I get out of my bed, take shower, have a wonderful breakfast and take a stroll outside in lush green park, touching those trees and flowers or leaves. And still, I feel awesome beyond words, I think anyone is welcome to join me in enjoying this beautiful planet together. However, the moment that “anyone” starts becoming meaningless in my happy marriage with my own self, of course one of us has to go.

And since the marriage with my own self is still far more important than anybody or anyone else out there, hence DIVORCE. People may call me jumping to conclusions too early, but all of us have too little time already to enjoy our lives on this beautiful planet Earth. Then why waste it in working things out with people who can’t fix their own lives first before meeting me? It may seem selfish, but in a healthy way imho 🙂

Sweet Ruby Bluez

To deprive yourself of passion is something I have become somewhat of an expert on. I never thought that I would have it in me to sit calmly and allow the tidal wave of nothingness consume me.  To believe the lies or prove them truths is something we all must decide. There are trade offs to everything in life. The question before you is what are you willing to give up to have. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe it is just me. From what I can see from the inside though it is nothing like what I thought but maybe it is everything that I had expected.

Looking back on my grandparents marriage there is no question there was love there but was there an underlying passion? Hard to say as I only knew them as my grandparents. The two worked hard to contribute to their household. Where one left…

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Sex Worker Talking About Human Connection – Nicole Emma


WARNING: Increase your audio speaker volume to highest to listen but be warned that the next video after this one will blow your ears. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7xLfeTytns In a society that values strong, stoic alpha males, where can a man find space to be vulnerable? Nicole Emma, a sex worker with 18 years of experience, gives a … Continue reading Sex Worker Talking About Human Connection – Nicole Emma