In a few months, I’d turn 54 and time has come for me to stop Googling and wasting time in reading and comparing what others think is right or wrong, and give my own opinion a little more importance than I was used to in a pursuit of life-long learning adventures worldwide (physically and virtually).
I am generally a very nice person. Standing in front of the mirror, I don’t see any bullets or knife marks on my body that I have seen many fools being proud of in pursuit of a macho “10 foot tall, made of steel” fake image. Nor have I lost any teeth in a fight and replaced them with golden ones. The only tooth I lost out of 32 of them, was due to me not flossing back in 2011. Since then, I keep two dental flosses around just in case one runs out.
Lately, I have caught myself doing strange things that I never used to until 2008 i.e. about 15 years back. In these 15 years, whatever indifference my soul had, I have gotten rid of it and have started to nourish and keep the relationships no matter what. Saying “no matter what” and actually acting upon is miles apart. Only the soul knows who suffers through someone’s indifference whom you love so passionately. It’s not that I have started to bend healthy rules and boundaries, its more like how I used to simply walk away from a relationship instead of wasting my time upon repairing it, that’s how I used to be.
That must be my ego back then and lately, I have learnt to respect myself more than others, and not go low as other poor depressed or loser souls go so easily and readily. None of that means that I have stopped reacting, rather I have become more vocal, forceful and totally wise whenever confronted by such egotistical fools. It’s this amazing magical ability that I seem to have developed in 15 years or so to turn a foe into a friend with the strength of self-respect that I used to ignore back then in the guise of humility or ignoring.
Let me give you an example. I never fake niceties since I am genuinely sincere and nice (most of the time). Someone took my nicety and sweetness for granted and started scolding me for something very little. The previous “Amir” I know would simply trash that individual or totally ignore and never have anything to do with them in future. However, this new “Amir” stands up for himself in such a calm and relaxed manner that I surprise my own self.
Totally proud of this new me and been enjoying travelling and interacting with the world more since I learned difference between ego and self-respect. This “new” me has been like this since last 15 years and only today it struck me how much I have changed, grown and become more full of life, happiness and spreading positivity around.
I can’t finish this post without mentioning an awesome blogger “Kristen” whose blog post about weight loss inspired me to write this piece.
Cheers to all who love and respect themselves FIRST without ever beoming selfish!
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